Early in the pandemic, medical personnel were our front lines. What was that like? Through stories, art, and poetry, Canadian health-care workers from across the country recount their experiences of the COVID-19 pandemic. The contributors to The COVID Journals share the determination and fear they felt as they watched the crisis unfold, giving us an inside view of their lives at a time when care itself was redefined from moment to moment. Their narratives, at turns tender, angry, curious, and sometimes even joyful, highlight challenges and satisfactions that people will continue to explore and make sense of for years to come.
Contributors: Ewan Affleck, Sarah-Taïssir Bencharif, Manisha Bharadia, Christopher Blake, Candace de Taeye, Arundhati Dhara, Paul Dhillon, Liam Durcan, Monika Dutt, Sarah Fraser, David Gratzer, Jillian Horton, Andrew Howe, Monica Kidd, Jaime Lenet, Pam Lenkov, Suzanne Lilker, Jennifer Moore, Shane Neilson, Kacper Niburski, Elizabeth Niedra, Margaret Nowaczyk, Tolu Oloruntoba, Rory O’Sullivan, Jordan Pelc, Nick Pimlott, Angela E. Simmonds, Tanas Sylliboy, Helen Tang, Bobby Taylor, Tharshika Thangarasa, Diana Toubassi, Shan Wang, Marisa Webster, Chadwick Williams, Dolly Williams, Jiameng Xu.
Shane Neilson is a disabled poet, physician, and critic, who grew up in New Brunswick and now lives in Oakville, Ontario. Neilson is the author of four non-fiction books on medicine and literary criticism. His poetry has won the Walrus Poetry Prize and Arc Magazine’s Poem of the Year Award (twice). His five previous poetry collections include Dysphoria, winner of the Hamilton Literary Award for Poetry and Complete Physical, a finalist for the Trillium Award.
Sarah Fraser is a writer and physician in Kjipuktuk/Halifax, in unceded Mi’kma’ki. She co-directs the Health Humanities Program at Dalhousie University.
Arundhati Dhara is a writer and physician in Kjipuktuk/Halifax, in unceded Mi’kma’ki. She co-directs the Health Humanities Program at Dalhousie University.
ix Preface
1 Fight or Flight: The Ambivalent Health-Care Heroes of Pandemic Response, Canadian Edition | SHANE NEILSON
18 Uncertainty | PAUL DHILLON
22 The Sum of All Fears | TOLU OLORUNTOBA
26 A Journal of the Plague Year 2020 | NICK PIMLOTT
42 What I Will Not Doff | DIANA TOUBASSI
47 Workday | THARSHIKA THANGARASA
50 A Mask | MONICA KIDD
52 Facing the Unknown: Apprehensive, Overwhelmed, and Helpless | SHAN WANG
61 On Pandemic and Uselessness | JAIME LENET
67 Pandemic | JORDAN PELC
68 Prescription for Water | JIAMENG XU
70 Palliative Care | THARSHIKA THANGARASA
71 My So-Called COVID Life | JENNIFER MOORE
79 Pulling Strings | MONIKA DUTT
85 Disembodied” An Examination of the Examination in a Pandemic | LIAM DURCAN
93 Same But Different | DAVID GRATZER
97 I’m No Hero | SUZANNE LILKER
100 Sidelined | MENGXI (HELEN) TANG
101 Behind the Front Line: (Or, the COVID Experience That Never Was) | RORY O’SULLIVAN
108 Singularity | MENGXI (HELEN) TANG
109 With Beauty | KACPER NIBURSKI
114 Management Was Mad | SARAH FRASER
116 Preoccupations of a Public Health Resident | MARISA WEBSTER
119 Bongo Guy in Lockdown | CHRISTOPHER BLAKE
125 Mango Season | ARUNDHATI DHARA
132 Solidarity | MENGXI (HELEN) TANG
133 I Am Letting Myself Go (Or, Humans of Late COVID) | ELIZABETH NIEDRA
136 Life and Death in Denendeh | EWAN AFFLECK
144 Jipasi na’sɨk melkitai | TANAS SYLLIBOY
145 In the ER, Patients Need My Comfort But I Am Scared to Give It | SARAH-TAÏSSIR BENCHARIF
149 Vicissitude | PAM LENKOV
152 Connection | MENGXI (HELEN) TANG
153 What Was Missing | MARGARET NOWACZYK
162 A Family History in 2 Pandemics, 4 Infections, and 102 Years | JILLIAN HORTON
165 Endurance | MANISHA BHARADIA
167 Blowing Smoke in Your Ear | ANDREW HOWE, ANGELA SIMMONDS, BOBBY TAYLOR, and DOLLY WILLIAMS; facilitated by ARUNDHATI DHARA and CHADWICK WILLIAMS
185 It’s Hard Not to Slam a Fist on the Table When the Finish Line Keeps Lurching Further Ahead, or, Third Wave | CANDACE DE TAEYE
191 An Unconventional Conclusion | ARUNDHATI DHARA and SARAH FRASER
197 Acknowledgements
199 Contributors
